[ It's a long walk of oppressive silence after Terra said those words, but it seemed that he was directing him towards someplace else, and that wound up being his room. The brunet opened his door and then walked in, waiting for the blond to pass through into his room. It looks mostly bare, except for uh... this one weird thing on top of his bed. This thing.

Anyway, once Ryota's in the room, he'll close and secure the door behind them, as well as wait for him to take a spot anywhere in the room. ]

You can sit wherever.

[ He'll wait for him to do so before getting started. ]

P-pardon the intrusion...

[Mitarai finds a space on a chair of some kind. He has slimly avoided the awkwardness of Terra taking him off alone to get murdered - you'd think it would happen in an empty public area or else Mitarai's own room. like Yoosung. God - and he's not about to let it get awkward in a completely different bedroom way. So he's cleared that hurdle! He wipes some dust off his pants (crumbs), takes a deep breath, and then looks up at Terra.]

...what did you want to talk about?

[His eyes are clear enough that he doesn't seem to be playing dumb. He's just... He doesn't know where to begin. Especially with Henry, it really became clear to Mitarai somewhere down the line that this got way bigger than the human emotions he can actually handle authoritatively on his own.]

[ Terra's not stupid enough to pull something like that right after a murder trial -- people may have seen him get up with Mitarai, for one. Another is, luckily for you Mitarai he doesn't feel in the mood to murder at all.

He...think that would never be what Yoosung would want, either. And what he's been trying to prevent happen for weeks now. ]

I wanted to talk about what you said back there. First, just to make it clear:

I don't want you to say anything like that about Yoosung again. The only reason I'm not doing anything else than talking to you right now is only because you made it clear you didn't kill him and that you apparently actually cared about him. But people who really care about others don't do what you just did at that trial.

[ He sounds marginally pissed, but it looks like the whole deal with Yoosung is not the only reason why he's angry... ]

Second, what were you even thinking when you were saying all of those things during the trial? And I'm not just talking about when you brought up Yoosung. Were you trying to get yourself killed?!

Edited 2018-08-26 11:49 pm (UTC)

[With his hands folded in his lap Mitarai is submissively listening to all of this and nods vigorously at the injunction to not do anything like that again. Terra is right that Mitarai actually cared - experienced some affective empathy - but didn't really care - exhibit compassionate behavior. Mitarai may have literally never "really cared" about anyone in his entire precious little life and this is not a comfortable awareness to have. At the same time, the awareness isn't really Terra's fault. It's because he said all those terrible things to the face of the young man who is now dead and gone, making him instinctively want to take back said terrible things. And Terra is being really generous offering him a space to process all of this. Mitarai worries his hands together, not making eye contact.]

I appreciate... that you want to listen to me... If you're this patient, then, um, I guess I should start from the beginning.

Like I told you at the trial, I only got to speak twice with Kim-kun. Even though we started out on pretty good terms, the second time, we... ended up arguing. He was just trying to care about me, and, um... the thing is... [He still can just barely grasp it in his own mind.] I've just been in a lot of situations where caring isn't enough, so I told him I felt that way, and he got mad at me, like anyone would.

Even back then, I knew I had gone wrong, but I couldn't just turn around right away. I just went out in that gazebo like I planned... and then came back in to color those keyframes... and when I came back out...

[His face crumples. You know. Yoosung was dead.]

They all started calling me his friend, and I was so... so frustrated! I didn't deserve anything like that! I just - wanted to be right. That I hadn't... [His mouth curls for a second trying to figure out a way to phrase this without going against his promise to actually respect Yoosung like a human being.] Kim-kun was so bright and caring, and I was just h-hiding in my cave.

I really do want to do better now, like he would have wanted...! Though I don't know how... I can't even eat an entire plate of food...

[He's exhausted but determined. This seems to be the end of this part of the story.]

[ At that, some of his angered simmered -- not all of it, mind you. But hearing Mitarai explain some of these things helped. ]

You can start by not pushing people away like you did to Yoosung, especially when they're just trying to help or know you better.

It can be hard, but I'm sure you can manage. [ He takes a breath, before releasing a sigh. ] Start trying to eat a little more each day. Piece by piece, eventually with enough attempts, you'll make it happen.

Everyone needs to start somewhere, though, so...why not start with me? We can be friends, and I can help you find your way.

This is a lot to take in... I guess I've been rushing into things. It's been less than two days... [Since Yoosung died and Mitarai decided to get stronger. He's been actively struggling against this kind of thing for twenty years. Immediate huge progress is unrealistic. See, this is why it's good that Terra is here to offer some perspective. Even if most of the people who offered him perspective were not as charitable. He is obviously going to have a tough time at Fayflower if he doesn't get more popular.

Mitarai offers Terra a weak smile and pumps both his little fists.]

Alright, then! Let's be friends, Terra! I give you my regards!

[ The brunet's glad that he's been able to turn this around--it's actually more than he could've ever hoped. He wasn't entirely sure that he would be coming from this with another friend, but if Terra's being honest, he's not the type of person who likes holding conflict or anger towards someone.

If he could resolve things without it getting ugly, that'd be his preference. ]

Looks like it's settled. [ ... ] Maybe we should do something a little fun or nice to commemorate it.

[ He makes the suggestion as if it were a joke, but Terra is honestly for it. He would have an actual fun and harmless idea for them to spend some more time if Mitarai agrees to it. ]

[In all honestly Mitarai is not very confident how this will go. Maybe he'll tarnish this second chance and Terra will be even angrier at him. Or Terra will get murdered and Mitarai will be feeling even worse than his guilt about the projection of Yoosung the potential good friend. At least Mitarai feels pretty confident Terra isn't going to murder anyone though. Mitarai is never confident about everything. Such is the way of anxious disposition, childhood trauma, and disasters in young adulthood.]

Um, okay... I really might need to find hobbies besides anime, anyway... [MIGHT, MITARAI???] I'm sure you have other hobbies in the "Land of Departure", after all, right? So that will be interesting!

This has been a really long couple days, so I might be out of it for a while before we can really get into it, but it does sound like fun!

[ There is a possibility that it will turn out for the worst--but now that it's reached this point, the brunet already focuses on the positives, and what he can continue to help make more of their situation.

He laughs a little. ]

I'll be glad to show you the way. Oh and don't worry, the first one we'll be starting with is actually pretty easy and not so stressful at all.

[ He'll heading over to and finally sitting on his bed as he says this. ]

Next time we meet up in private, I can show you what one of them is. The only requirement will be to bring your own pillow.

[Mitarai narrows his eyes at the young man on the bed, disoriented and focusing on the new stimulus. Then he gasps as his eyes widen in realization.

It's for the best I'm in this ryoukan and not you. I'm the one with the padding...

He looks up at Terra, completely moved, and stands with his fists clenched in an earnest excitement.]

Yes! I'll do it!

[He takes a step back towards the door. Out there, Henry might still hate him. There might even be another murder attempt. But at least he has this invisible string of friendship to try and lean on now.]

Thank you so much for having me...!

[ This week was already quite A Lot to deal with on a myriad fronts, but the brunet was up to honoring his words at least. It's not like he couldn't be, and Mitarai had supported him -- still wanted to support him -- even though he was like this. That being said, he decided to also bring along his pillow with him.

He did tell Mitarai next time they meet up in private for a pillow to be brought and since he was going to his, it would fall on his shoulders to provide his own.

Terra knocks on the blond's door once he reaches the front of it. ]

Mitarai? I'm here.

Oh, yes, hello, just a minute!

[When Mitarai gets to the door several seconds later, he's wearing button-down pajamas and slippers. Mitarai is almost bouncing on his heels - he's clearly holding one thing in each of the two hands behind his back, having moved quickly to hide it after lifting one hand to open the door.]

Come in, come in.

[The room is very tidy and more specifically is made up a specific way in anticipation of Terra's arrival - the sheets on the bed are neat yet not tucked in, to sit on more comfortably (this is where Mitarai goes - all the while gaze pointing towards Terra like a compass), and the chair is pulled out from under the desk so the person sitting in it is facing the bed. There's a pink rug on the floor that he got out of the gifts as well.]

[ Terra nods once Mitarai says those things, and then once he steps in, he'll close the door seamlessly behind him. Then, he'll step over to the chair and carefully sit right in it. He'll be placing the pillow he brought with him on top of the desk, before he looks back at the blond. ]

I'm all set.

...Whenever you're ready, I'm good for whatever surprise you might have up your sleeve.

[ The brunet was still heavily leaning towards a party of some type, but he actually doesn't really mind what it'd be. ]

Okay... Tadaaa!

[He's so nervous he can barely plaster it over with enthusiasm. It's WALKIE TALKIES, he gives Terra one and keeps one.]

They're these closed communication devices. Even if you don't know what to do without your feelings, you can always contact me to ask... Or the other way around if that's alright with you...

[SEE, THIS IS WHY TERRA PROMISING TO CONTACT HIM WAS SO FUNNY.]

[ Terra looks the same as he did before--but he's holding it, looking at the item as Mitarai talks. He'll just nod and then refocus his gaze right back on the blond. ]

It's absolutely fine with me--if there's anything on your mind don't hesitate to contact me, alright? Honestly, this is pretty brilliant.

[ ...He presses a button on it and now somehow he's holding it upside down. ]

...How do you use these, anyway?

Edited 2018-09-07 02:06 pm (UTC)

Oh, um, no—

[He reaches over with both hands to flip the walkie talkie right side up. Touching another person even this much is clearly a matter of nervousness for him as indicated in both his face and wrists. This might shift Terra's gaze in the direction of the pink fabric barely visible through the thin slits in the closet doors.]

This part, the "antenna", has to be pointing up, and then the bottom is flat so you can put it on top of a table, or car dashboard or something like that, and communicate while you work. [...just how dissimilar is the technology in the land of the departed?] Like one of those countertops in a ship?

[ It sure does--it makes him pause at that, and he looks over at the pink fabric with a curious gaze on his face, before directing it back to Mitarai. ]

So, like a radio. I think I've got the idea.

[ ... That's where his thought went, anyway. He's familiar with those, at least. Technology can be strange in the LOD, after all. ]

... And what's that over there?

[ He'll point over towards the closet door, because he's suddenly curious about the fabric for the convenience of the thread. ]

YES! [Mitarai snaps his fingers, IMMENSELY relieved.] It's like a radio! But they can only hear each other, and no one else can hear them~

[He follows Terra's gaze to the closet.]

Oh, I got that back on Saturday... I already sketched as much as I could from its fabric motions, but I don't really know what else to do with it now.

Then it'd be good if we needed to communicate something in confidence but couldn't get somewhere private together.

[ He'll keep it in mind, but for now-- ]

Really?

[ Something about it looks familiar...if he peeks some more over can he get more of a view of this dress. ]


Edited 2018-09-16 12:39 am (UTC)